Introduction
안녕하세요 여러분! Hi everyone! It’s Elizabeth!
In today’s blog, I want to tell you a little about my experience as an Asian American adoptee studying abroad in my birth country. Fair warning: It gets a little deep. You’ve been warned :)
The Basics
If you’re reading this, I’m going to assume you’re either an Asian American adoptee, know an Asian American adoptee, or are just a cool person. None of these are mutually exclusive categories, of course.
Because international adoption looks different person to person, here’s the quick breakdown of my adoption story:
I’m born in a section of Seoul just southwest of the Han River, named Kim Hwa Hyun and given to a foster family to live somewhere in Mapo-gu. I spend a lovely seven months with them before leaving Seoul via Incheon airport in early 2004. I fly home for the first time and meet my mom and dad at an airport in Chicago. Boom! Adopted.
Identity Exploration
Overall, I love being an adoptee. I literally wouldn’t trade my life for the world: It’s a very good one!
But, there have been some hard parts to my story. One of the hard parts? Sometimes it’s uncomfortable being Asian American in the rural Southeast, especially when you don’t always feel super Asian. I look like my ancestors weren’t from Southeast USA, for sure, but the Southeast is all I know.
Lots of us Asian Americans can summarize our experience through this little exchange:
“Where are you from?”
“[Insert the US state we’re from].”
“I mean, where are you actually from?”
Ok, fine — I’ll tell them I was born in South Korea. Honestly, it’s ok! I’ve always been proud of it. Go South Korea! But, like, y’all: I grew up shucking corn and shelling black-eyed peas with my grandparents and extended family — that’s as authentic Southeast as you get! I’m truly from Georgia. And now I just feel awkward — awkwardly half Asian, half American.
Over the years, I’ve tried to embrace the awkwardness by learning more about my Asian side, the side that physically labels me as “other” in the Southeast. I’ve gotten to explore my Korean heritage, but only in certain ways, like dual enrolling in Korean courses, making a few Korean friends, listening to K-pop, embracing the Shin ramen lifestyle in college (this one would have happened anyway), and exploring Duluth (known for its Korean population).
Then, as of this spring, I spontaneously made an appointment with the study abroad office on campus. Fast forward a month, and I was signing up for a six-week study abroad program through TEAN.
And here we are.
Let’s chat about how it’s been!
Full Circle
My time here has had a huge theme of things coming full circle.
That feeling began from my very first moments back in Korea — from the plane even. As I spotted the land below me, I felt giddy. I thought to myself, “This is the place I was born to.” And when we landed in the exact airport I had departed 20 years ago? Full circle.
The full circle feelings only continued throughout my study abroad experience, like when my suitemates at Korea University wished me happy birthday at midnight. Since I live in the EST time zone, which is thirteen hours behind KST, this is the first time I’ve ever celebrated my birthday at the proper midnight. Technically, I’ve been celebrating my birthday thirteen hours too late each year. Until now. Full circle!
And the full-circle experience culminated when I finally took the subway to the dong (neighborhood) where I was born. Located on Line 5, I felt surreal taking the subway there then walking around the block where I first entered the world. As I strolled, I mentally thanked the people who took care of me then. I let them know I’ve been well, that I’ve worked hard, that my life is good.
Full circle.
“Seoul was waiting for you”
Shoutout to my sweet friend who told me this, because this phrase also sums up my study abroad experience.
I don’t think every adoptee can go back to their birth country and fall in love with its food, its culture, its people, and its landscape the way I have. I know I’m very lucky. But yes, I’ve truly fallen in love with everything here.
I love the kimchi with most every meal, the many cafes and Americanos and vanilla lattes and convenience store kimbap. I love the Han River, Lotte Tower, and Namsan Tower (all landmarks of the city); I love the feeling of comfort and delight I get each time I see them. I love the politeness of handing people items with both hands, the gentle bow after a warm exchange with a shop owner, the strangers shifting seats on the subway so I can sit by friends.
I love Seoul, and as I explore it peacefully, I remember the phrase my friend told me:
Seoul was waiting for me.
Hello I’m Gyopo
Now the big question: How’s my Korean/Asian American identity feeling now that I’m six weeks into the study abroad experience?
It’s feeling much more whole.
And that’s thanks to being in Seoul, for sure, but also thanks to the friends I’ve made here.
Especially my other Korean American friends, or my gyopo chingu. (“Gyopo” is the Korean word for people like me, who are ethnically Korean but live in another country. And “chingu” is the word for friend.)
I’ve been really lucky with the friends I’ve made here, gyopo, American, Korean, European — all of them. But I’ll say, my fellow Korean American friends have been radical to me, as they’ve made me feel so much comradery here. We’re Korean ethically, but American by the way we speak and laugh (and buy clothes, based on our jokes of “buy it when our dollar’s strong!” referring to the favorable USD to won conversion rate). And when store owners chat with us, we’re all slightly lost at the rapidly spoken Korean, but hey! We’re lost together.
And best of all? While some parts of my story and experience are very different by being an adoptee, my friend is right: I can just say I’m gyopo. I’m a Korean living abroad, and it’s as simple as that. I don’t have to add an asterisk that I’m an adopted person if I don’t want to. I don’t have to explain I was born in Seoul but my parents are American. I’m just a gyopo from America: I’m just a Korean American. Gyopo, no asterisk.
In fact, we’ve been enjoying the experience so much, two of us made goofy little keychains together that say “Hello I’m Gyopo.” We’re just glad to be here. And we’re glad to be gyopo.
Closing Thoughts
If you’re an adoptee thinking about studying abroad, I want to congratulate you. Just thinking about it is brave and wonderful! And if that’s all you’re ready for, let that be that. And if you’re ready to make that jump, I hope you feel as comforted by your birth county as I have by mine. Everyone’s story is different, of course, but for me it’s been life changing.
Thank you, TEAN, for being such an amazing support to me as I’ve studied abroad and explored my Korean heritage! It’s been one of the greatest experiences of my life.
And if you read this far, thank you! Keep an eye out for blog three!
Elizabeth Chandler, Berry College, is studying abroad in South Korea with TEAN.
