When I walked into the International College at Mahidol University for the first time, I instantly noticed a multitude of couples walking around the canteen. Some talked and laughed, while others walked hand-in-hand to a table to eat together. As opposed to the extremely casual dating culture in American universities, Thai students date to marry.
As an international student, it was nerve-racking to enter the dating pool for several reasons. First, I thought that no one was single, everyone either in a relationship or about to get into one. Second, I had to be the person to initiate contact since Thai students are shy about approaching international students. Third, I assumed that no one would be interested in dating an international student who’d leave in a few months. Despite those reasons, though, I ended up dating two Thai guys, each of them on entirely different ends of the dating spectrum.
Guy One and I met through a mutual friend. He knew that I found him attractive, but he was too shy to make the first move. So, I followed him on Instagram, and he surprisingly direct-messaged me afterward. We texted every day for the next couple of months and tried to meet at school weekly. Since I figured that he would be too shy to officially ask me on a date, I invited him to dinner. We ended up doing the typical dinner-and-a-movie date at the mall, with some ice cream in between. Again, he was too shy to initiate romantic gestures, but I found it endearing. Our conversations, meetings, and dates continue to this day.
Guy Two and I shared a class together. I noticed his interest throughout the semester, but he never approached me. Finally, I decided to take the initiative: I searched for his Instagram, followed and sent him a direct message saying I found him attractive. Following that message, he went from being shy to becoming the most outgoing person that I’ve ever met. We talked more in class, laughing and making weird faces at each other while our professor lectured. He texted me throughout the entire day, possibly sending fifteen to twenty messages in a row, wanting to know about my well-being, my day, and my current whereabouts. He eventually started driving me to school, randomly buying me snacks and drinks from 7-eleven, and planning several dates for us, including attending Loy Krathong. Although I greatly appreciated his efforts, I was tremendously overwhelmed by the amount of attention, as I had never experienced it to that extent in the United States. Thankfully, he slowed down after I told him that he was going too fast. Our relationship remains strong to this day.
Despite the cultural differences, I greatly appreciated the change in pace from the casual dating culture in the United States. I enjoyed going on charming dates without having to fulfill any unsaid expectations at the end of the night. I hope to stay in contact with Guy One and Guy Two and possibly reunite in the future.
Sam Radcliffe, Washington State University, is studying abroad in Thailand with TEAN.
