Stories that Shaped Us: Making Friends in South Korea

Although the prospect of studying abroad is exciting, it’s often accompanied by some nervousness, especially if it’s a solo undertaking. In the following blog, Toni Clark details her experiences of overcoming some initial nerves to reach out and form lasting connections with classmates in South Korea.

How I made friends in South Korea

When I first arrived in Korea, I had the impression people would approach me instantly out of interest in me being a foreigner. However, when settling in, starting the first day of school as an exchange student, I was surprised that my Korean classmates tended to be very shy. I learned later in the semester that one reason I was not approached was that Korean students may lack the confidence to make small talk in English. This fact made me realize I was not alone. Just as I felt insecure with my Korean skills, my Korean peers were scared to approach me too. As I became more comfortable, I knew if I wanted to make friends, I needed to find opportunities to step out of my comfort zone. I started by simply getting over the fear of coming off as strange by initiating a conversation with the classmate sitting next to me, or one I saw in the hall and recognized from class. Trying to talk to people in Korean and giving them compliments surprisingly helped me make friends. As a result, my friend Jin, who sat across from me in class as a stranger, is now my closest friend. I met her after class by complimenting her presentation, as I admired how hard she worked on her slides. I asked her to meet up for coffee nearby because I was interested in getting to know her. At the time, I felt I was trying too hard to make friends, but that moment is now a core memory for my friend Jin. Now and then, Jin brings up how having the confidence to talk to her made her so touched. A lesson I learned is you are surrounded by people who want to make friends, but sometimes you have to overcome the worry of rejection to be the initiator of making friends in a foreign country.

How having friends impacted my experience abroad

Once I had made local friends like Jin, life was more enjoyable in Korea. I was able to navigate locations quicker and explore new places I would not have gone to alone. Navigation alone was difficult because Korea is a small country with so many people. Especially living in the capital of Seoul. I had help figuring out the subway system and was able to develop better navigation skills by traveling with my new friends.

A common way friends socialize in Korea involves delicious food and coffee. Iced Americanos to be exact. With my friends, I usually went to eat Korean BBQ or go café hopping. It was nice to not be alone in instances where local restaurants would fill up with locals and I felt out of place being a foreigner. Another challenge was making reservations on the phone. So, I was very lucky to have someone with me to make reservations or assist me in going to places I was interested in seeing.

Besides making Korean friends, I was fortunate to be able to network with students from other countries such as Australia, New Zealand, and China. Living in a foreign country was a surreal feeling, and after making some local friends, I did not feel alone like I’d felt in the beginning. I felt, in a way, able to become more independent and forget how I was 6,758 miles from my friends and family at home.

Core memories with my friends in Korea and how we stay in touch now

Studying abroad in Korea became a core memory shaped by the friendships I developed. As previously mentioned, Korean culture involves socializing around food. I can say the same about the memories I remember making with my new friends. I once spent a day at a Korean market following my friend Subin around and eating food from each vendor we passed. At the end of the day, my pants did not fit. I also loved how in Korea, either after class or on the weekend, I always had something new to do and experience. Sometimes activities I would do with my friends included riding the subway, spending the day sightseeing and moving to the next town after each subway station. Because I was a student first, I would also study on campus with my friends and be able to stay up late and walk around the nearby neighborhoods. In Korea, it’s generally safe to walk alone at night, but it was nice to be accompanied home when leaving campus after school hours.

When I had to return home, the hardest part was leaving my friends behind. Currently, I am expected to graduate from my home university in Fall 2024 and apply to graduate school in Korea. The perk of returning is to relive the memories I made with my friends and meet them again. As it is hard to be away, I still keep in contact with my friends through a popular Korean messaging app called Kakao Talk. Jin is also planning to take a trip to America just to see me graduate from university. It is crazy to think I came to a foreign country not knowing anyone, and now I have friends like Jin, traveling the world to see me. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t gotten out of my comfort zone to compliment her in class that particular day.

Toni Clark is a TEAN Global Ambassador at Texas A&M University, and a Korea University alum.